The mentality of love

 

We must understand that all attempts for love are bound to fail unless one develops one’s own personality. This is done by the cultivation of certain qualities, among which are self-discipline, patience, courage and faith. Thus, the reasons for the failure are never sufficiently examined; people, in fact do not realize that love, far from being merely a thrilling sensation or a delightful state into which one “falls” is, on the contrary, an art that requires knowledge and effort.

            However, to succeed in love we must learn about love, proceeding in the same way as we do if we wish to learn any other art, such as music or carpentering or architecture. We must master the theory and the practice.

            People generally believed that romantic love, as depicted in films and other popular media, conveys false notions to young people. Love, emotion and passion are not the same thing, but the distinction is made only rarely in films. The passion is often based on sensuality. True love that lasts must be based on something deeper than the flesh and deeper than emotion or felling. It must rise above emotions and sex-appeal.

            Thus, the church has never underestimated sex attraction or emotional appeal, for these are part of love. But in true love there must be a spiritual link which will continue to bind when physical and emotional attraction fades. It consists in a union of wills, a desire to give oneself and sacrifice oneself for the beloved; it desires only the good of the beloved.

            True love is measured by the completeness of the marriage promises- the “Yes” that agrees to accept sickness or health, riches or poverty, good fortune or misfortune, better or worse “till death do us part”. Pius XII said in one of his addresses to young couples as follow “Supernatural charity alone, the bond of friendship between God and man, is able to forge between you, links that nothing can break, neither shocks nor troubles nor the trials that are inevitable in a long life together; only divine grace can lift you above all the little daily worries, above all the differences in testes and ideas which germinate and grow like weeds among the roots of weak human nature. This charity and this grace- are not these the strength and virtue that you sought in the sacrament of marriage?”

             In a sense, you should understand that the true love needed for happy union must be based, not only on physical and romantic attraction, but on these qualities of character which remain when passion and emotion grows cool, as they inevitably will. Thus, for the adequate use of the grace of sacrament, there must be this basis of true love to work on. Otherwise there will be no real happiness. When the initial romantic state of bliss fades, and when responsibilities take its place, husband wife may find to their dismay that they have nothing in common. True love, on the contrary, deepens with the passing years.

 

            Now, we should observe the love scenes in films with more discrimination; for our whole attitude towards the sixth commandment can be influenced by the portrayals of lust and licence and infidelity that we see in many films. Nowadays, adultery, free love, pre-marital relationships, pornographic sadism, prostitution, even perversion, are commonplace themes of popular films. Thus, our own moral standards must be high and inflexible if we are to view them objectively and without harm to ourselves.

            It is generally known that entertainment world shamelessly exploits romantic love, and teen-agers often know too much about sex before they can understand the deeper needs of love. Through inexperience or rashness, they may fail to understand, until it is too late, what is the real significant of love. This has led to thousands of unhappy teen-age marriage and a big increase in the number of teen-age unmarried mother.

            True lovers, besides being like-minded, must be mutually complementary; that is, there must be an element of contrast, each must enrich the other.

            Rule of conduct, you should let your friendships grow slowly. Love, as contrasted with infatuation, usually grows slowly. There is time to think and time to pray. You must have time and opportunity for character of the other. Nor must you rely too much on your own judgment. Above all, you should seek help from God in prayer, and God will surely direct you into safe paths.

 

Sex

            Formerly, it was sufficient for young Christian people to know and believe that lack of control in sex matter was wrong, because the bible tells us this, Christ confirmed it and the church has always taught it. Today the youths are confronted with questions from a godless society which wants different and moreover easy answers. The traditional ones are unacceptable to them. They feel confident that, in this enlightened times, complications like venereal disease and unwanted pregnancies only happen to the stupid and ignorant. The sense of guilt that has traditionally been attached to unchaste actions are now being dismiss lightly and something belonging to a past mentality. Having disposed of these and other reasons for practising chastity, they find no other to replace them convincingly.

            Since the clock cannot be put back, we must face the fact that those who want to be chaste have an uphill fight. Often the physical side of sex is being falsely presented to them, outside its total context, as being the “real thing,” and consequently it is easy for youth to confuse sex pleasure with sex. The purpose of sex education should be to cultivate a proper understanding of sex and all the enriching values it can bring to life.

            When the pituitary gland sends its message to the ovaries (a “get busy” message), it is answered in a special way by one of the hundreds of thousands of tiny egg-cells which are in the ovaries. This little cell then pushes its way to the surface, and eventually it breaks free from the ovary. It is then drawn into the fallopian tube by the fimbriae or tentacles at the free end of the tube. Slowly it moves down this tube, which is very narrow, leaving only a little spare room.

            The fertilization of the ovum occurs in this following way; the male fluid or semen is deposited in the vagina. This fluid contains hundreds of millions of little cells called spermatozoa or simply sperms. These thresh about blindly in all directions, most of them die in the acid secretions of the vagina, but some succeed in making their way into the uterus, and some of these find their way into the fallopian tubes. If there is an egg in one of the tube, some of the sperms will run into it, and ultimately one of them may penetrate its lining and fertilize it.

A new organism has now been formed, a new human being with an immortal soul. This new organism embeds itself in the thick spongy lining of the uterus, which, under the influence of hormones, is developed and maintained in such a way as to nourish and protect the new life.

            If fertilization does not take place in one of the tubes, the ovum soon dies there, and the thickened lining of the uterus separates and passes away with a flow of blood (menstruation), which is the result of this process. By disposing of unwanted tissue from the lining of the uterus, nature plays its part in keeping the female body healthy and attractive.

            This, then, is a simple explanation of the fascinating process of reproduction, which should be clearly understood by all maturing young people so that they can freely make right and enlightened decisions in all matters pertaining to sex.

How to plan your life

Adolescence and Adulthood

 

Childhood is a time of nurture and protection, which gives place to puberty or adolescence, thence to adult life.

            Adolescence is a transition period when profound physiological changes occur in the human body that leads to the appearance of male and female secondary sex-characteristics.

            In the human body, series of small areas of tissue with highly specialized function (endocrine glands) are scattered all-over. These glands discharge their secretions directly into the blood stream. Their shape and functions very, it is the changes in the activities of these glands that are mainly responsible for the phenomena of puberty or adolescence.

 

Male: the male sex mechanism after been dormant in the body for thirteen years now begins to function slowly. The penis and the scrotum (two small oval bodies called the testes) are the two principal organs of reproduction. The scrotum, at the age of puberty begins to make a chemical which is passed into the blood stream thence carried by the blood to all parts of the body.

Thus, this chemical is responsible for the bodily changes that now occur (the development of muscles, the growth of hair, and the deepening of the voice). The male cell of reproduction called the sperms is also produced by the testes. Once the body begins to produce sperms, it continues to do so until late in life. The sperms pass into a tube called the sperm duct which curves around so that it joins on to the tube leading from the bladder to the penis. This latter tube is called the urethra, and it has two functions. It conducts to the penis the waste water which accumulates in the bladder, and it also conducts the sperms which pass into it through the sperm duct when they are needed.

 

Female: the controlling force of the female body or “leader of the orchestra” as it has been aptly named, is the pituitary gland (a mass of nerve tissue about the size of a walnut at the base of the brain).

            As adolescence is established and the glandular system matures, a hormone or chemical messenger is secreted by the pituitary gland. This is carried in the blood stream to the ovaries, in order to stimulate them to activity, and a series of changes then occurs in the body which result in the development of female secondary sex-characteristics (increase in the size of the breasts, rounding of the hips, growth of pubic and axillary hair, and in the phenomenon of menstruation). The menstruation is controlled in a rhythmical way. It is a recurring effort on the part of the body to prepare for the beginning of a new life and for its nesting and development.